#you can tell i'm thinking hard about it though

[thatonesillyfrog]

Which category of alterhumanity do you belong to? I'm a therianthrope and a phytanthrope (aka greenkin, woodkin, or plantkin)!

What/who is/are your type(s)? (if you have any) Dingo, cougar, and resurrection fern are my highest kins, and some sort of avian (red hawk, I believe) as well as rodent (most likely an eastern gray squirrel) as well. Some of my headmasters have different ones.

Do you experience shifts? If so, can you tell us your most common shifts and your strangest cameo shift (if you've ever had a cameo shift)? I'm a contherian, so I always have a phantom tail, phantom legs, or phantom something else. I'm also often sensory shifted and sometimes on a weak mental shift. My weirdest cameo shift was either a snake or an airplane.

How do you experience your alterhumanity in everyday life? I am a kemonomimi (which is just a person who likes wearing animal ears and tails, and sometimes other similar accessories) and wear my gear in day to day life. I use my kemonomimi gear to express my nonhumanity and feel happier in my own skin. I do experience species dysphoria, especially around my phantom shifts, so this helps a lot.

What do you think of the community? Depends on the platform! Here, I love the amount of information and fun facts and the way that people really strive to be able to see themselves and be seen as how they identify. I also really love the TikTok therian community as a lot of it is just fun!

What are the things that make you most comfortable and euphoric in your alterhumanity? Wearing tails and ears and collars, quads are fun, laying in specific animalistic positions while doing something like eating or watching TV, etc. I also really like keeping my nails long. Specific kinds of movements are very affirming. I also love doing voice training for therian and transgender purposes. Makes vocals easier and more fun.

Are you experiencing species dysphoria? Yup. Pretty often. It doesn't often get super severe, but one of my headmastes recently shaved off every inch of hair on our entire body and it has not been fun being furless :/ It's also sad whenever somebody bumps into my tail and say sorry and I didn't feel it or notice it. Makes it feel disconnected.

What advice would you like to say to a young alterhuman who has just awakened? Don't try and figure out anything right now! Take your time and let it come naturally. Nothing except a nonhuman identity is required to be alterhuman. You don't need gear, quads, or to be out. Finding community, though, is wonderful. Have fun with your identity, but also feel free to acknowledge the hard stuff. Just remember, it's not all bad. :)

Do you have/want to have gears? I do! I have multiple tails, all of which I've either made myself or (for the taxidermy tails) gotten at yard sales and I make ears on a regular basis. I love making collars as well. I have a buncha puppy stuffies that I consider my pups (in my past life as a dingo I was a mum) and I also have some jangly bracelets that bring me joy. I have a lot of animal themed knicknacks sitting about my room.

Do you know/have any theories about the origin of your alterhumanity? If so, tell us! (all beliefs are legitimate) Trauma, neurodivergency, past lives, imprinting, and simple psychological differences. All of these are valid and (to me) fascinating theories about the origin of alterhumanity in general! For me personally, I think mine comes from trauma and past lives, as well as some neurodivergency.

Tag someone/a creature to answer these questions! @hyprfixed

If you are an alter/nonhuman, reblog and answer these questions!

(don't be afraid to write a lot, do what you want ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯)

1/ Which category of alterhumanity do you belong to?

2/ What/who is/are your type(s)? (if you have any)

3/ Do you experience shifts? If so, can you tell us your most common shifts and your strangest cameo shift (if you've ever had a cameo shift)?

4/ How do you experience your alterhumanity in everyday life?

5/ What do you think of the community?

6/ What are the things that make you most comfortable and euphoric in your alterhumanity?

7/ Are you experiencing species dysphoria?

8/ What advice would you like to say to a young alterhuman who has just awakened?

9/ Do you have/want to have gears?

10/ Do you know/have any theories about the origin of your alterhumanity? If so, tell us! (all beliefs are legitimate)

11/ Tag someone/a creature to answer these questions!ㅤᵕ̈

[verstappentime]

From there, there's several more hospital pictures. Max can't picture sharing something so private. It seems like people are following along, though; all the posts have likes in the 5-figures.

There's several where he's just sitting up in bed, and a few of his leg, clearly badly injured: In a sling, in a full cast, in one of those traction things. One gruesome picture of pins in his ankle. He loves emojis, especially the kissy face one. He's upbeat most of the time, but Max can tell when things must have been really bad.

max/charles, 1.3k. it's 2017 and max finds out why he stopped hearing about charles leclerc. (part one?)

Max hasn't thought about Charles in a long time.

He's thought about him in the abstract, whenever he's coming out to someone new, saying, "Oh, her? I would not know, I'm gay." He's thought about being fourteen and unable to talk to Charles without a little secret smile, one he had to bite down. It's how he knew he liked boys for the first time.

But he left karting, and he went to Florida, and then he went to F3, and then to F1, and he left behind everyone his own age. He sees names he recognizes in F3, F2, but never Charles. He doesn't have time to wonder about it.

When he sees the Instagram post, he feels like a bird smacking into a glass window.

premateam 🚨 DRIVER ANNOUNCEMENT 🚨 Welcoming our 2017 F3 driver, Charles Leclerc. We always knew you'd be back, and we would be waiting. ❤️

Charles has done his hair short. He's grinning in the photo, flushed with happiness, leaning against a car with the number 16 plastered on. He's older, leaner. He's handsome.

charles_leclerc SURPRISEEEE! 😘 Better late than never. Three years ago I was learning to walk again. Today back in a single seater for the first time. Never give up ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Thank you for the opportunity @premateam

Max's pulse is thumping. Charles, who changed his life and never knew it. What happened to him?

He goes to the previous post. It's from a week ago: a picture of a crash helmet, red with stripes going up and over the top, white and a different shade of red.

charles_leclerc Dusting her off!!!! 🤫 Still fits 😝

He feels like he's missing way too much. He scrolls down rapidly, until the pictures start to wane in quality, probably taken on an older phone.

He clicks into one from 2015; Charles, in a hospital bed with a breathing tube in. He's younger, more like Max remembers him. He looks tiny. It twists something in Max's gut.

He swipes to the next one in the carousel; it's Charles sitting up in bed, dressed in a hospital gown, giving the camera a thumbs up. The third and final bit of the post is a video, Charles doing what looks like some sort of breathing treatment and waving to the person filming with a wink.

charles_leclerc Past week has been crazy… After seeing my car I'm just feeling lucky to be here… Thank you for all the support. Trying to get home soon, hard at work. Love to everyone ❤️❤️❤️

From there, there's several more hospital pictures. Max can't picture sharing something so private. It seems like people are following along, though; all the posts have likes in the 5-figures.

There's several where he's just sitting up in bed, and a few of his leg, clearly badly injured: In a sling, in a full cast, in one of those traction things. One gruesome picture of pins in his ankle. He loves emojis, especially the kissy face one. He's upbeat most of the time, but Max can tell when things must have been really bad.

charles_leclerc Goodbyeeee chest tube! You are not my friend anymore. One day at a time :) Means I get to go back to Monaco, can't wait 🇲🇨🇲🇨🇲🇨

charles_leclerc New hospital & new hardware in femur ✅✅✅ This one hurts can't lie!!! On my way to a new leg though, so good news

charles_leclerc Hard week, bored. Surgery #5️⃣ tomorrow

charles_leclerc Gross right??? Robot Charles incoming

charles_leclerc Got to shower and wash my hair todaaay how does everyone think I look??

charles_leclerc Was supposed to go home this week but infection means I have to stay 👎🏼 👎🏼 Thanks to my brothers for brightening up my room though. @arthurleclerc good luck this weekend 😘

charles_leclerc Surgery #9, maybe the last one! Is that a lucky number??

Max isn't sure what his heart is doing. Twisting, maybe. Charles looks thin and pale in most of the pictures. They're dated weeks apart. He must've been in the hospital an age. Charles had only admitted that he was in pain once, but it had to have been– God. Fucking awful.

Max hasn't seen him since he was 14, but Charles was always kind to him. Sweet. Funny. He was angry when he lost, but only for a little while; he was back and offering to help Max load up his kart within a few hours, rattling on about what he did wrong and how it would never happen again. Usually, it didn't. He smiled like the sun when he won.

Max hurts for him. He should be in F1 by now.

In one post, Charles has taken a picture of a race he's watching on TV. He would have seen Max. He was a few hours away, on the track in Imola, and Charles was in Monaco, in the hospital. It's strange. They've been in the same world the whole time.

Max can't help smiling at his phone when he scrolls to Charles going home. He's in a wheelchair; he's in a different cast, starting under the knee. The next post in the carousel, he's in the wheelchair, reaching up to hug his little brother, who Max has met a couple times.

charles_leclerc Home 🏠 ❤️❤️‍🥰 So happy. Thanks to everyone who sent me nice thingsss got to open it all today :)

The next post is a video; Max ticks on the volume to watch. He recognizes some of the likes – one's Daniel.

The caption says "BEST DAY!!! Four months later!!! Feels like I won a world championship:)" It's an edit, set to 'Rise Up,' which is unbearably corny, but Max has lost God knows how much time catching up on the past two and a half years, and he's not going to miss a win.

The video starts with a clip from the day of his crash; then the clips Max has seen before, of him smiling at the camera; one of him sitting up in bed, hooked up to oxygen with a kind-looking nurse supporting his back, talking to him quietly; a couple of him with a surgical cap on, one where he's clearly hazy.

The video's longer than a minute, so Charles has split it into two parts. Max swipes to the next one.

This one starts with the music is turned down and the raw sound is dialed up. Charles is sitting on the edge of a bed, a nurse supporting him under both armpits and helping him stand. He's grinning right at the person filming; from behind the phone, a man says something in enthusiastic French.

Max's breath catches when Charles comes into the frame, navigating the hospital and then his house with a walking frame – he has some sort of brace on his knee and a walking cast on. There's some where he's gritting his teeth, some where he's smiling. Max isn't sure if he's playing to the camera. It has to hurt. Max doesn't need to know French to know how fucking happy everyone is to see him doing it.

They're getting to the end part of the song, where the lady's singing I'll rise up, for you, and all that. It should be silly, but Max doesn't care. It's good. It's good.

He hasn't even gotten to the best part.

In the last clip, Charles, tentatively, someone spotting him from behind, is walking, still with a heavy brace supporting his bad leg, but by himself.

Max hasn't seen him in three years, but he wants to hug him so badly. He's not sure they've ever done that before. It's better, still, knowing he's going to drive again. He did drive again. If Max cried more, he might now.

Max feels like he's got tunnel vision. This separate life, this place where their stories diverged; he never got to be a part of it, and he feels– weirdly bereft. He never knew Charles beyond their on-track friendship, but there's a strange sense of sadness. There's this nagging thought, I should have been there. He wants to know everything.

He finally lets Instagram lie and Googles Charles Leclerc crash.

[bloggerspam]

"So, like." Steph oh so nonchalantly starts, stirring her melting froyo to the toppings mix in. "Since we're all official now…"

"Yeah..?" Val draws out the vowels, unsure of where her (new!) girlfriend (girlfriend!!!) is going with this conversation.

Steph opens her mouth, closes it. Starts to say something, stops. Opens her mouth again, only to slump as she stuffed another bite of her froyo into her mouth.

"I know the whole girlfriend-girlfriend thing is new and all," Val furrows her brow, "But we were friends first, y'know. Whatever it is," Val sets down her froyo to lay a hand gently on Steph's wrist on the table. "You can talk to me."

Steph looks up into Val's eyes, hopefully seeing her sincerity, and they lose time like that for a moment. Val could drown in those diamond blues, and thank whatever higher beings exist for it.

Steph blinks, coughing with a lovely blush on her face before she dons on a determined expression. "Jason said that you knew—about, well…"

Val relaxes, finally understanding what the issue is. "Your night shift?"

"Yes!" Steph slumps in relief. "Yeah. Well—he said you knew about his night job, but I'm—I'm glad you know about mine too."

"It wasn't that hard of a stretch. From what he says you guys know about Amity Park too, right?" Val rubs her thumb up and down Steph's warm skin.

"Yeah, 'course." Steph grins, taking another bite of her froyo and humming happily. She even does a happy little wiggle, she's so cute Val might die.

Maybe Danny can find her in the Realms and bring her back?

"It was a little hard, considering Phantom doesn't really capture well on digital, but we had our suspicions, especially when the accident was well documented at the hospital.

Val nods, leaning back and taking her own bite of her froyo before it completely becomes slop. "Bet it didn't help that Huntress avoided cameras like an expert," Val smirks, before it turns wry. "And fought like cats and dogs at first."

"I was surprised Sam hated Phantom, actually." Steph tilts her head, making a face and completely missing Val's expression. "Jason was convinced they were there during Danny's accident."

Val isn't sure what to say to that, because it sounds like…it sounds like Steph thinks…?

"Speaking of—" Steph beams at Val, blinding her in her already poor state of confusion, "Will you tell Sam if she wants to get back in the game over in Metropolis, we can put her in contact with the Supers to talk about it?"

"You want me to tell Sam this…" Val says slowly, "…because you think Sam is Huntress?"

"Uh…yeah?" Steph hesitates, before ticking off her points with her fingers. "Their fighting styles match, she's got Tucker for the hoverboard, body type is closer—"

"Body type???" Val confusedly asks to herself, Steph still listing a baffling amount of things that support her theory.

Val cuts in louder. "Out of curiousity, how did I factor in?"

Steph pauses at the interruption, blinking. "I mean—you went out with Danny right?"

"That's it??" Val incredulously asks. Steph hunches her shoulders.

"That's how I got in the game??" Steph puts down her empty froyo cup with a hollow thunk. "I was dating Red Robin before even knowing his identity, and then eventually, made my own Robin costume and made Batman hire me."

"That's actually very hot of you," Val says, though she's still confused as fuck. "I would never be able to date a vigi in their mask. Too much stress circling around secret identities."

"I threw a brick at him once for like, stalking me." Steph bares her teeth, looking Val up and down salaciously, "And masks don't bother me all that much.

Val feels her face heat before she manages to get a hold of herself. She wonders if that opinion will hold when it comes to full face helmets.

"Sam's not Huntress." Val decides to nip this in the bud, froyo abandoned into a wet glop. "And I'm going to take you to bed so I can really show you about body types."

Steph gapes at her, satisfyingly red in both mortification and, if frantic glances along Val'd body mean anything, arousal.

"Yes." Steph rasps. "Yes please."

Val wastes no time, grabbing Steph's wrist and tossing their trash on their way out the froyo place.

"I know it's technically our first date," Val says over her shoulder, handing Steph her helmet once they arrive at Val's bike. "And usually I'm supposed to wait for the third date—"

"Fuck that." Steph practically jumps on the bike behind her, wrapping her arms deliciously around Val. "We've been dating for months now, take me to bed."

"You got it babe." Val grins in her own helmet, revving the engine. "Hang tight."

The shoot off with laughter and glee in a mess of bike fumes and dust.

Mechanic! Val AU Extras!

I decided to create a whole new post for the extras, apart from the main story. Sorry If the reblog confused anyone!

But hey, i finally got the inspiration to write this scene out!

It's really bad and rushed because I JUST finished it, but its done and i am not changing it. <3

Also on AO3 :)

===

Jason has a plan.

He fidgets with the box of chocolates in his hands, waiting for the door to open. Danny had said he understood, in his texts, had reacted positively to Jason asking to see him, to celebrate Danny's move.

But text can only go so far, and the subtext is actively trying to murder Jason via anxiety and guilt.

Jason's not 100% sure, basically, that Danny knows Jason likes him. The misunderstanding was cleared, but the uncertainty has not.

Jason had a plan, a big one. He was going to take Danny, just the two of them, to the Gotham Observatory to celebrate the move. He was going to lead Danny through the exhibits that he had researched thoroughly before hand, and then take him to dinner at this little hole in the wall Italian place, with the perfect mood lighting and atmosphere for a cozy little dish of spaghetti. Maybe joke about Lady and the Tramp, tell Danny he's pretty.

He was going to ask Danny to be his boyfriend, cuddled up together in the ambient candle lights in his best leather jacket and a little moon rock pendant, to the moon and back and all that. It was going to be perfect, it was going to be good.

And then, maybe, in the far off future Jason could…could let Danny in. Let him know he knows about Phantom, despite Steph's doubts. Slowly start teasing Danny about Red Hood and Jason Todd being on his Hall Pass list.

But then Talia had snitched on Timbers, taunted Jason about how his little replacement was so very hard to catch before throwing a knife at his head.

And then the misunderstanding happened, and Val with the Red Hood reveal, and—

And Jason had a plan, but the plan went to shit.

But Jason is a Bat, against all fucking odds, and so he pivoted, adjusted, re-calibrated the entire time he was working on that stupid Mazda.

The new plan is sound. The new plan is a little slapshot, but it works, and Jason has been practicing his heartfelt apology and subsequent love confession for the last two hours.

The door opens, Danny looking worse for wear. He looks sad, downtrodden, and hurt. Eye red-rimmed and skin a pallor that insomniacs love to don, lips chapped and bitten to all hell. His hair is all over the place, and his voice creaks and cracks when it asks who is it? before the door is even fully open, and Jason thinks he'll have to tell Danny not to do that in Gotham, to check before opening the door because it's not safe and—

And Danny is the most beautiful thing he's ever seen, eyes widening upon seeing him, looking flustered and embarrassed to be seen in "such a state."

Jason practiced, he reminds himself, for two hours.

The door opens, and Jason opens his mouth before Danny can even greet him.

"I'm Red Hood!" His voice squeaks at a pitch it's never squeaked before, "I'm Red Hood, you're Phantom, and I'm desperately hoping you understand that I'm an idiot and I was being chased by three ninja assassins and had bloody gloves and couldn't text properly."

Danny is speechless, Jason can see this by the way his mouth flaps open and shut but no sound comes out. Jason is about to crawl out of his own fucking skin. He doesn't remember what his speech was before. He pivots.

"I know I should have waited," He continues, and despite all the training he's so panicked he possibly can't even see anymore, "But I don't like making you wait if I can help it because I'm kind of desperately in love with you?"

There's a long silence.

"Was that a question?" A different voice calls out from behind Danny. Tucker, he thinks.

"No!" Fuck, his face is burning. He looks Danny in the eyes, tries to convey confidence. "I am desperately in love with you."

He stands there, just for a moment, before remembering the chocolates and shoving them gentle into Danny's chest, who takes it with a startled blink. "I got you chocolates. To say sorry, and that I like you."

Danny looks down on at the box, a novelty thing. They're fancy, high quality, shaped into the different moons of Jupiter. Jason had them custom made for the Observatory date.

"I—" Danny pauses, still seeming to process things as he stares at the chocolates in his hand, using his other hand to try and pat down his hair. He's beautiful, and Jason hates that he made him feel any type of negative feelings at all.

"It's okay," Danny finally settles on, smiling softly at him. Jason's insides feel like molten lava. "It was just a misunderstanding."

"Yeah," Jason smiles helplessly back, "But it still hurt you."

Before Danny can say anything to that, he's yanked back into the apartment. Jason reaches out, instinctively, before catching himself.

Sam stands in the doorway with her arms crossed and a scowl that could curdle milk.

Jason swallows dry spit.

"You did hurt him." Sam's voice is so low Jason could scoop it off the floor, "And Danny might forgive you, and Val might have let you off easy, but I don't like it when people hurt my friends."

Behind her, Jason can see Danny being dragged away by Tucker, who gives him a two fingered salute and a wink.

Well. Fuck.

Jason's got a long time to grovel before he can see Danny again, he can tell.

Jason takes a deep breath. It'll be worth it.

Because when all is said and done, he's gonna ask Danny to be his boyfriend.

By the way Danny blows him an apologetic kiss, he's fairly confident they'll be fine.

He catches the kiss and puts it in his pocket, ignoring Sam's rolling eyes, and prepares himself.

Jason, after all, has a plan.

[alex31624]

Fishing

Dad and I arrived at the lake early. Mom stayed home while the rest of the family was on an adventure in the Amazon. I was going to go until I found out that Dad was going fishing and I knew I had to go with him. Dad taught us how to fish during our trip around the world, and I was hooked. I love it.

Dad and I sat on the edge of the dock and cast our rods. Dad started telling me fishing stories, then stories about Aunt Della and my brothers. I love hearing those stories and knowing more about my family. But even though I don't want to, I get a little sad after hearing them. My family has done so much without me or May, and damn, I would have loved to be there.

I think Dad knows what I'm thinking. He always knows what me and my siblings are thinking. Father powers he calls them.

“Soon we'll have more and more stories with you and May as protagonists.”

He smiled brightly, while I felt Dad's hand caressing my head.

“I love you June.”

“I love you too Dad.”

We sat on the dock for hours; we didn't catch anything. When Dad was ready to go, I felt my rod pulling. I pulled hard and took out my prize, a small carp. Dad lifted me in his arms and celebrated.

“Great job June!”

When he put me down, he took a thousand photos of me with his cell phone, while I smiled showing my trophy.

If I'm honest, I don't think any adventure can compare to a day of fishing with Dad.

June Duck

[corkinavoid]

DPxDC Hogwarts AU [pt. 6]

Hi!

I don’t really know how to write letters because I'm usually just talking to people in person. But Jazz said we can't visit, because we are not invited. I think it doesn't make sense because Sam never invites me, and her parents never do, but it's okay when I come.

Did you like the broom? It's Jack's, he's my Dad. Jazz says it's not very nice to give people used things as gifts, but I didn't have anything else to give you that I think you'd like.

I thought I can send you one of the posh potions I did, but Vlad said I can't, so I sent a broom. Sam won't tell me what she sent you, can you tell me? I really want to know.

Can you invite me so I can visit? We can fly together, and I can show you the twist I learned yesterday. It's not hard, but it makes it so you can fly upside down and it's really awesome, Jazz was screaming when I showed her!

● `Hį • <- sorry for this, Dani found my letter and she is not very good when she writes yet.

I don't know what else to write. Happy Birthday again! Mom wrote the card that we sent you before, so I didn't write it myself that time.

Send me a letter back,

Danny ☆

(p.S. do you like that star ☆ ? I think I want to draw stars on all my letters now, Jazz taught me how to make them pretty)

Hi,

You didn't answer my letter, so I'm sending another one. Jazz says maybe you don't want to answer, but I think she is wrong. Maybe the last letter got lost? If it was, then just know that I wrote you a letter before, and I want to be friends and I hope you liked the broom.

If you don't want to be friends, it's okay, you don't have to. Jazz says I can't make people be my friends. But if you do, can you send me a letter back, please?

I asked if you need to know the address, but Father says Polaris (he is the owl) will know where to take it if you give it to him. If you didn't like the broom, I can send you something else. Just tell me what you like.

Danny ☆

Timothy,

I hope this letter finds you in good health.

I apologize if my previous attempts to reach you have been unsafia unsatisfactory.

Please inform me if exchanging correspondence with me is something you would be interested in.

Kind regards,

Daniel.

—☆—☆—☆—

Pics for  v i b e s

—☆—☆—☆—

Notes on random irrelevant (and a little relevant) things:

There's about a month or so between the first and the second letter Danny sent, and about two and a half between the second and the third. He had Vlad's help with the last one, and he used Masters family wax stamp on it instead of whatever he's found and liked himself. He never received an answer and has not sent another one.

Polaris is one of the two owls that Fenton family has. He is a very nice barn owl, and he is the one considered the family owl, carrying most of their correspondence. Yes, Danny named him. The other owl is Jenkins, Jazz's tawny owl that she takes to Hogwarts.

Vlad has his own snowy owl named Sol. He did not name her after the Sun, even though he doesn't correct people when they assume. Instead, her name comes from 'Соль' [Soĺ] - 'Salt' in Russian due to her feathers being not completely white but kind of looking like sprinkled with salt. It turned out to be a very accurate name since Sol has a rather salty attitude.

The reason why Tim never answered any of Danny's letters is because he never received them. They were addressed to Drake manor, but the house elves there are not permitted to handle mail. Instead, Janet and Jack sort through it every time they visit their estate. It's kind of like a spam filter for them - everyone who really needs to reach them would address the letters to their names personally, and everything addressed simply 'to Drake manor' is probably not that urgent or important.

As to why they haven't been around for long enough that Danny's letters got entirely lost, I'll get to that in the next part. Prepare for a time skip!

[<- part 5 | part 7 ->]

[onionpainter]

just found your blog, I think your paintings are absolutely gorgeous! I've been wondering, what draws you to work with oil paints above other mediums? I've found them very tricky to work with in the past and I'm fascinated by the depth and cleanliness you can bring to them

Hello there, thank you for asking! I’m very glad to hear you enjoy my work :) I have many reasons why I must work in oil, allow me to offer you this numbered list. I am very normal about it.

The art which I have grown up loving and aspiring to make was largely made with oil. It is my strong feeling that if you want to recreate an art style, the easiest way to achieve this is to use the same medium in the same way that the original artist made their work in. All mediums have their own idiosyncrasies and it is far more practical to use the same medium than to try to recreate the effect of one medium through another medium. I learned this the hard way trying to achieve the particular look of paint tool SAI, first through drawings coloured with water based paints, then with clip studio paint. It is better to use the same materials that your chosen art movement used if you want to work accurately in the style. I was asked once why I don’t use watercolour. I don’t use watercolour because I can’t make an oil painting out of it.

They are difficult to gain control over. This seems like a point against them, but let me tell you why this is a point in their favour for me. There was a time in my digital illustration career when I hit a very brutal plateau. I was very bored and I strongly disliked working on my commissions. Digital art had ceased to be particularly hard in terms of program handling, but my drawing skills were weak at the time. I decided I needed something properly difficult, and not having had time or space until that point to work in oil, I took it up again. Being so unpracticed and unskilled, it was very punishing, frustrating, and unrewarding, and by the end of my painting practice I would be begging to return to the relative ease of my digital work. Of course, there is only so long that I can engage with a skill before I fall into a bottomless pit of commitment.

Another point regarding difficulty and maybe more importantly, perceived difficulty. I am a highly competitive person, some might say pathologically. And since oil is often seen as the most difficult medium [although I would say, again, it is the easiest thing to make an oil painting out of] there is then less overall competition within the medium than there is in water based mediums for example. I compare this to another scenario, that of horse training. Why would a horse trainer choose to work with feral, unhandled mustangs, when you can work with a nice horse who has been handled and conditioned from foalhood? One reason is to show very high level horsemanship. If you train a mustang then you really know how to train horses. Technical difficulty can be dealt with, it is only a matter of hundreds of hours of work. Oversaturation of a niche, however, is a much more difficult problem, which is also out of my personal control. I’d rather prove myself against one oil painter than three acrylic painters.

On the topic of perceptions, oil is commonly seen as the most valuable type of painting. I’m not saying that’s a fair perception, just that it exists. Often when people think of “good paintings” the paintings they imagine are typically in oil. I’m sure we’ve all seen particularly dynamic fotografs compared to oil paintings. This has two functions for me, one, that I can make these objects of perceived value, which please and entertain. The second function of them is to legitimize myself as an artist in the eyes of the general public. Digital art is a commonly devalued and little known or cared about art form, even though so much incredible contemporary art is of digital mediums. Unless someone is already involved in digital art communities, it can be difficult for them to relate to it or even imagine what it could be, or how it is made, even though it permeates society. Digital art is seen as low art. On the other hand, the first thing that comes to mind for people when they think of art or “Fine Art” is usually oil paintings. There are significant social advantages to being able to say “I am a painter” versus the awkwardness of having to admit “I am a digital illustrator” with all of the confusion and skepticism that brings. Again, I don’t bring this up in order to champion this line of thinking, I am just saying that this perception exists.

On a technical level, there is something about oil. The textures and handling needs of the different pigments and mediums, and the physical feeling of manipulating all of it is something I cannot do without. My teacher who first introduced me to oil compared it as painting with melted butter against the feeling of painting with glue or toothpaste, which he felt about acrylic paint. This is a matter of opinion, but one I agree with. There are tactile sensations which only exist in oil, and the longer drying time allows for much more mixing on the palette. I would be furious if I spent time mixing a colour only for it to dry and become unusable within the hour.

The dangers involved, both to the art in terms of archival quality, and to myself in terms of poisoning or fire, make this medium into something that demands strict attention. Many of my materials can kill if I do not handle them correctly. To me, this immediate danger brings the specter of death from the shadows and defangs him, transforms an unknown terror into a banal familiar matter. These materials might harm me, but instead they help me and they are my dear familiar companions. My duty is just to honour and steward them well and help them fulfill their purpose, which is to please and entertain.

In terms of my recommendation of this medium to others, I would recommend it if you are the kind of person who can withstand slow progress and who wants to earn something hard. Beginnerhood typically lasts a long time with these materials, unless you are a particularly strong painter in other mediums already and have a good teacher. I wouldn’t know because I am the initially unskilled type. A warning for the initially skilled people reading this: there will come a time in your practice when your initial skills are no longer adequate for the task ahead. I suggest you learn how to work hard before you come to this point so it will be less devastating for you. Enjoy the simple struggles of your beginning, even if it may overall be very boring. Lose yourself within it. The milestones of the intermediate stage are much farther apart than those in the beginner’s fight.

With regards to your comment on cleanliness, first I thank you, that is very kind. I allow myself to work slowly and try to control my impulsivity. Speed will come with time and experience, I am content with a slow and measured process for now.

[kisolvetica]

Hello!!! Thanks for the tag!! <3 Didn't expect to be tagged to be honest but I'm glad I did get tagged! :D

Also I must say everyone who reblogged before me sounds like such cool people! :>

Last song: American Jesus by Bad Religion! At first I wanted to say a Bowie song because I was listening to it all day due to it having been his death anniversary but then my playlist thought to be like "I don't think so!" and played a different song I like. I am pretty much a person who listens to everything.

Favourite colour: Despite my layout having purple and blue as the primary colours, my favourite colours are yellow (especially the yellow daffodils have) and dark green! Obviously I also like my layout colours but I'd say green and yellow just feel so soothingly happy to me.

Last Book: I am currently reading Faust 1 by Goethe because my finals are creeping up and it's one of the books I may need for those lol. But I also enjoy the book quite a lot!

Last movie: The phantom of the opera! I watched it together with my mother one random evening last year and I haven't watched any movie since then. I do want to watch Nosferatu next, though!

Last TV show: My mother and I have started watching a lot of shows together (this includes DBDA but it was too gay to handle for her conservative mind and she noped out after the cat king was introduced) and the latest is "From" it's not really popular, I think, at least it doesn't have a lot of Fanfics but I did enjoy the first season. I am a little sceptical about how they always introduce a bunch of characters but I hope that they flesh them out! It does have sapphics though so that's a win.

Sweet/Spicy/Savoury: I do have a big sweet tooth but I think outside of snacks and chocolate I am more of a fan of spicy food? Like, if someone asked me whether I'd want a spicy or a sweet dish for dinner, Id probably be more inclined to choose the spicy one.

Last thing I searched online: I researched for a fanfic I want to write and so it's "Boarding schools in Edwardian Britain" (now take a big guess for which fandom!! It's so niche you will never figure it out /s)

Current Obsession: My obsession with Genshin and HSR is dying down quite a bit (let's face it, it's the fandom's fault) And now my focus is back on demons and Greek Mythology. I have the want to get into Athuriana literature as well but ugh I'm too busy for this. Outside of occultism and mythology, yeah, obviously DBDA. It hit me HARD and I'm not mad!!! ... Also my own OCs but that's something only I can fix.

Looking forward to: Graduation!! Yes, everyone is telling me that it only gets worse from now on (which,,, very promising btw) but I am so glad when I leave this school. At least at university I can choose a bit more of what I want to do. I am also gonna get a therapist which I am in dire need of and hopefully try to get gender affirming care at the end of the year. I already have a job lined up so the only other things I want to achieve this year is finishing up my driver's license and get the scholarship I applied for but that part is something I have no control over! Also, I might need to look out for apartments because of a reason surrounding my family situation but, well, I prefer living alone anyway. Just gotta see how I'm gonna support myself.

Ten people I'd like to know better: You know, I don't even know if I know the blog names of ten separate people or if they're even okay with me tagging them (what's the etiquette for that? I know that some other platforms were rather... nasty about it). So,,, if you come across this and you want to do this, I always like to read about other people's interests!! So pretend I tagged you, if we're mutuals or I follow you, I do know and like you, I am just an awkward person who doesn't know how to act with people :).

10 People I'd Like to Know Better

Thanks for the tags @gaiaseyes451 and @beerok23!💜!💜

last song: Gloria by the Lumineers

favourite colour: Red, like a deep luscious red that you know would taste good if you licked it. Don't act innocent, you know exactly what I mean by that. Red is a color that you just know tastes good.

last book: I am currently trying to read the Witcher series (per @lickthecowhappy's suggestion) so I am at the start of the Last Wish

last movie: Moana 2 (I have young kidsssss)

last TV show: My oldest is almost 10 which means she stays up late. Which also means I have so little time to watch adult things. So we've been watching the Office with her. I think I want to watch the Good Place with her next tho (I've never watched it!)

sweet/spicy/savoury: Sweet followed very, very closely by spicy. Habanero maple syrup is one of my favorite things on the planet.

last thing i searched online: How to explain a 10 year career hiatus in a cover letter (looking to return to work since having kids. It's been an interesting experience so far).

current obsession: Have not moved on from Good Omens, but recently realized that my obsession may be more in my own little connected universe of fics that I wrote rather than the actual canon at this point😳. I'm sure once we get that first glimpse of red and white hair that will change very quickly.

looking forward to: Going back to work and having a more established adult life again, honestly. I've been so lucky to be home with my kids while they are young, but I am ready. And figuring out how my newfound passion for writing is going to fit into that new life of mine. Another big year of change over here for me, and I am eagerly looking forward to how the growing pains are going to make way for something beautiful beyond.

ten people i’d like to know better:

@addledmongoose, @di-42, @afrenchwriter, @haemey, @eybefioro, @alwaystuesday, @katspause, @alphacentaurinebula, @shadesofecclescakes, @ochre-sunflower and whoever wants to do it (but also feel free to ignore!)

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hello Miss Raven!!!

First of all, I wanna tell you I'm a great fan of your work, it helps me understand better a world that I love, so please don't stop doing it!

Secondly, I wanna know if you know of the existence of the 34 pages long essay of L*ona and your opinion on it due to the love-hate relationship you have with him.

Thank you once again for all that you do and I hope you have a really great year!!!!!

AAaaAAAAaAHHhhhHHHH, thank you for your kind words!! I've had my ups and downs with this fandom, but for the most part I've enjoyed my time here and very much intend to stick around~ Before I get to my thoughts, I'd like to give credit to @/arledrone, who I believe is the owner and author of said 34-page L*ona document! Thanks for penning this all the way back in... what, 2022?? For us to rediscover and read now in 2025 ^^

First thing's first, the document is actually quite old, so obviously there's a lot of materials missing (the Savanaclaw manga, light novel, the completed book 6, all the book 7 content, the new and relevant events/cards/voice lines/vignettes that have come out since then, etc. I'm of the belief that we don't necessarily need to look at this, as the point of the document seems to be pointing out Leona's very slow growth (and sometimes regression back to his worst traits) over the course of the content that was avaliable up until the point of the document's publication.

I won't bore you by regurgitating everything in the document; I'll just point at some things I found notable!

For the most part, I agree with the broad strokes and general interpretations of how Leona's character is presented. He's very complex and you often have to look beyond what he's initially claiming because he has ulterior motives or intentionally tries to act tough to conceal his own insecurities and vulnerabilities. (However, I did find the document a little difficult to follow in the beginning because it kind of felt like meandering with no clear topic or order of topics being established, just several paragraphs of listing Leona's traits without giving concrete examples to back them up? I guess the examples were provided eventually... still, I feel the document could have been edited and condensed a bit. The flow improved considerably when we got into summarization of the vignettes, book 2, and events.)

OP made very similar points as myself, such as saying that Leona isn't specifically after the crown, but what the crown represents (though this conclusion is common among L*ona fans). I was pleasantly surprised to even see them proposing that how others view Leona negatively may even be self-imposed--I had suggested the same thing a few years ago, but haven't seen this idea (or this particular phrasing) gain traction. I think my favorite parts of the document were comparing and contrasting Leona's reactions to criticism (in his School Uniform vignette vs in Fairy Gala). Vil appears as a major point of contention in both and serves as an excellent obstacle to challenge the arrogant and hard-headed Leona. I've compared the two before, and I think that helps to explain why Vil and Leona so often clash. Vil's the perfect person to go toe-to-toe with Leona, call him out for his BS, and push him to "be better". Fans frequently complain about how it feels like the OB boys didn't change significantly following their books--but they have, and they are, you just have to be willing to do the work to dig it up because the main story alone is not sufficient. It's a subtle thing, 'blink and you'll miss it' moments. All the main story can do is tell you "Leona is now consistently training with his team" and, "Leona is now getting off his ass to pitch in with physical labor". Book 6 certainly did a good job of showing us his development, but a lot of it I wager is personal reflection, and that's not going to always be easy to spot of manifest in a tangible, easy-to-see way, especially given how little we interact with the guy directly. We should be more cognizant that character change can happen off-screen (ie not in the main story) and outside of the presence of Yuu, and is not automatic or done in huge leaps. I think I would have liked it if Leona's minor roles were also touched on, but I understand why they were left out. It's a lot of information to look through, and there was less value in events like Beans Day, Ghost Marriage, etc. compared to instances where he was far more proactive. I'd argue that the times where he doesn't feature as a main character serve to characterize him a lot as well (and thus have their value) though; he uses his cunning to find an "easy way" to victory (even if it ended up failing in the end), he gets competitive with Vil over something he doesn't even care about due to his deeply rooted superiority complex, etc.

That about summarizes my thoughts! Apologizes if it was short, it was tough to really comment on stuff since at that point I’d only be repeating what’s written in the document.

[flo-zoinks]

How would each gang member react to being bitten. Like not sexually just fucking CHOMP. and how would they taste

Seriously ya'll in my inbox are FREAKS. but it's a good thing I love my freaks❤🌟

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU BIT EACH RDR2 GANG MEMBER AND HOW THEY TASTE (NON FREAKY) (MY OPINION)

Also I haven't bitten that many people b4 so the 'taste' will be very unrealistic also cuz imma have fun w it

(ONCE AGAIN ASSUMING UR LIKE JOHN IN TERMS OF SEX, AGE AND REPUTATION IN CAMP AS REACTIONS CHANGE GREATLY)

Hosea - hit you over the head with his newspaper rolled up. "Did nobody teach you any basic decency? ...No I suppose not, thinking of." Not much to taste I think you'd just hit straight bone past skin that tastes like those milk sheets that forms above milk when it's hot

Arthur - generic ARGH SHIT WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU. Probably tastes like a raw beef with cilantro on top.. or venison perhaps

John - "Normally when Pearson's food is too bad again I hunt you know. Animals, not people." Then pushes you away to the ground before quickly leaving to check you didn't just give him an STD or rabies. Tastes like if an animal roadkill was cooked after in a southern heatwave.

Javier - kicks your ballsack then immediately leaves to see if you'd damaged his clothes past repair (courtesy of Tilly if repairable). Then goes back to jump your ass where camp can see you as a warning - though just out of Dutch and Hosea's eyeline

Uncle - "YOU WEIRDO. I KNOW I GOT SOME MEAT ON ME BUT IT DON'T MEAN I'M A FREE BUFFET. Clearly you got enough to eat already by the looks of you anyway!! But if you really wanna eat something.. (he moons you) HAVE THIS". Tastes like a 2€ chicken tikka masala from a pub.

Abigail - slaps you REALLY hard with like instant memories to her working girl days. Tastes like a vegetarian BBQ dish

Jack - will sob immediately REALLY LOUDLY, then bite you back and adopts a behaviour of biting others who he's annoyed at (Abigail HATES you now). Tastes like sugar and chocolate.

Dutch - kicks your leg then laughs as Micah makes a show of being about to bite YOU back when you fall. Probably mostly worried over the fine material you've now damaged and tells you to leave for a bit. Tastes like big game meat, however very dry and sprinkled with nicotine(?)

Molly - hits you with her fan, tells you that you have to pay for her material, and same as the last ones tells Dutch for him to just say 'it's a friendly joke woman', then cries thinking everyone hates her in private later. Tastes like unripe strawberries when they are still quite hard but good nonetheless

Grimshaw - slaps ur face and then later gives you an openly aggressive book on manners in front of female company. Tastes like a week old ham sandwich

Karen - If drunk, punches you. If not, just shoves you and tells you to piss off you creep. Tastes like an alcoholic bonbon

Tilly - kicks you, then tells Javier or Arthur who have a bigger problem with that then if you'd done it to them. Talks shit about you to miss Grimshaw and the other girls (-Abi, Sadie and Molly) so now you're about as popular as Micah with the women in camp. Tastes like mint chocolate chip ice cream that's still a little to frozen to eat.

Bill - says hes grossed out, then INSISTS on biting you back. If he does, he says he didn't do it as hard as you did now he has to do it again. "Bill stop it was 4 months ago it was a joke". Tastes like cooked meat left unattended in a moist basement for a week and a half.

Mary-Beth - looks at you MORTIFIED. However having probably had an experience like this before with a creep shes quick to kick your ballsack and punch you square in the nose, (surprising?). Tastes like frozen Bubu Lubu

Reverend - assumes its because you have a problem with his injections in his arm you try to show it by chomping it. Backs away almost SCRAMBLING in panic, and tells you come to him for an exorcism should you come to your senses anytime soon. Tastes like an expired rum raisin very dark chocolate bar

Trelawny - "goodness, I've met my share of people, from here to the exotic lands of France, and never met such a specimen like you." He leaves camp for another 4 months after this. Tastes like white sauce on gammon

Pearson - thinks it's because his food isnt ready fast enough, so just shoves you away saying "yes I'm cooking as fast as I can, you could've told me in a normal way though". Tastes like a Mushroom and meat kebab

Sean - hits you away, and tells you that you're a little strange for him. Then tries to scare you away by acting like hes gonna bite you back.

Lenny - "Pearson's food ain't that bad, how hungry are you Erysichthon?" However he does make himself look bigger holding his shotgun as a deterrent, (he does not plan to use it at all). Tastes like just above medium quality meatballs and gravy.

Strauss - yelps quite high pitched, makes a show of berating your lack of civilisation, then promptly sets far from camp clutching his book. The place is camp he makes sure is near either Lenny, Dutch or Arthur in case you try again. Tastes like a raisin.

Sadie - she is NOT holding back, or atleast until Arthur, John or Charles (probably all 3) have to hold her back. Makes a show of cocking her gun whenever you make eye contact now. Tastes like an incredibly stiff bull meat from a bull fighting ring

Charles - "get off me don't do that. What's wrong with you" after a small disgusted glance he does back to doing whatever he was doing and ignores your antics. Tastes like prime ribs

Micah - if ur not a minority (he blames it on that if you are) or a woman (he'd openly probably say he likes it) he grabs your collar to try threaten you again to do that. Gets like super close and you can hear that loud ass breathing. Then drops you in front of everyone and loudly announces that's what happen if someone else tries to mess w him (he gets judgy looks). Tastes like stiff lamb chops with a lot of salt.

Kieran - looks at you MORTIFIED. doesnt make much of a show then and goes to the edge of camp, but at night when you sit in the camp with others he suddenly gets a fit of passion and rants at you for still attacking him for being an O'Driscoll. Then the next day he's to embarrassed to face you. Tastes like roasted potato with a bit of pepper.

Yes the taste is unrealistic lmfao (i mean most people taste very similar just small boring differences like I'm not making blood glucose levels heacanons💀). Who did I forget ??? THANKS FOR ASKING ME BOO XX AND WHAT DO YALL THINK???

[fanfoolishness]

Ooh 5 letters between two of your OC’s companions about them?

Thank you for this codex ask! I have sat on it for weeks but today is the day. Gotta distract myself from them fires amirite? :-D These are for Asla Mercar.

---

Harding: Hope you're doing okay after the whole 'found an angry rock version of yourself' thing. You seem happier. That's good. But if you're not you know where to find me if you wanna smash shit. I'd be pissed about all that stuff if I was a dwarf. Also congrats on you and Rook. She keeps walking around looking all giddy. It's cute. Taash

--

Dear Taash, Who told you about me and Rook??? Also, thank you. It was overwhelming to feel all of that pain and rage from the Titans, but I think I'm coming to terms with it. I still feel connected to everything, but I feel so much lighter. Does that make sense? Like there's a way forward now, where I can remember the past without being bowed down by it. Seriously though, did Emmrich say something? Harding

--

Harding: It wasn't Emmrich. Remember my sense of smell? Comes in handy for stuff like this. And I won't tell anyone if you don't want. I get it. Sometimes you wanna keep stuff just for yourself for a while. You two are good together. I can see she really cares about you. When we were checking out the Warden fortress with Davrin in Rivain she kept talking about you. "Lace would think this is so neat. Look at all this old stonework!" "I wonder if Lace's magic would work here." "I could really go for a ham and jam slam right now." She smiles way more when she talks about you. Glad you're feeling better. The stone magic is badass. We should see if we can power it up with dragonfire or something. Better ask Emmrich about that too. Taash

--

Dear Taash, Okay fine, yes, Rook and I are seeing each other. I have to be careful because my magic keeps almost giving her lyrium poisoning when we -- um -- try to be... affectionate? Ugh, that sounds bad. But when I get excited, or emotional, it just sort of comes out! Last time she was dizzy for an hour. That's the only reason I asked Emmrich about it. I mean, I certainly know how to do things under normal circumstances. She said all that about me? Stop it, you're making me blush. She's just the best, isn't she? I know everything is so hard right now, and the world keeps trying to end, and she's carrying all of that on her shoulders, but I'm just so happy right now. After losing Varric, and everything I've learned about the Titans... I can look into her eyes (did you know they're two different colors? Green and hazel? They're so pretty!) and just be Lace. And it helps. She helps. I asked Emmrich about dragonfire and stone magic. He said neither's really his area of expertise, but based on what he's observed, he recommended finding somewhere with a LOT of open space just in case everything explodes. Let's try it! Maybe the arena at the Hall of Valor? Harding

--

Harding: You're on. I'll have Isabela set up a match. Drinks at the Hilt after? You can invite Rook to join us too. I bet she'll cheer you on. Sorry stuff's been hard. But I'm glad it's getting better even if the world's messed up. Now let's go blow something up. Taash

[the-elegant-necromancer]

((I couldn't just leave this alone not when there is so much to work with))

There was a hard knocking on the door to the house given to team RWBY and JNRO. It had been a few months since what they were all calling the 'incident' and all things considered it had been very quiet.

Too quiet.

Yang was the one to answer the door seeing a woman who seemed just showing a baby bump standing there, head wrapped in a bright blue scarf matching her sky blue dress.

Yang: Um, can I help you?

Woman: I need to talk to him.

Yang: Okay you're going to have to be way more specific, then 'him' I don't think any one here is expecting a visitor.

Woman: Arc, I need to talk with Arc!

Yang: Why would you need to?

*The woman pulls the scarf up to show her face giving Yang some serious pause*

Yang: C-Cinder!

Ruby: *As if on instinct petal bursting into the room, weapon in hand* Cinder?! WHERE!?

Cinder: Yes, me, now I need to talk to Arc, now... please.

Ruby: *Looking the woman up and down before nodding* I'll um, I'll go get him...

Yang: Would you um, like to come in?

Cinder: How do I know you won't attack me if I do?

Yang: *Looking down to the woman's rather obvious baby-bump* Um, there is at least one reason.

Cinder: *Groans before walking inside taking off the scarf and sitting on the very couch that the 'incident' happened on*

Weiss and Blake come out to the common room to see Cinder sitting so properly, hands folded on her lap, doing nothing that could hide the obvious difference in her silhouette since they had seen her last.

Both woman quickly exchanged looks before staring at Yang who only shrugged making a motion towards Cinder.

Cinder: If you want to ask just ask, I rather dislike being talked about like I'm not here.

Blake: So um... you and Jaune didn't um...

Cinder: That wasn't exactly on my mind during. To be fair I had assumed this... thing *She waved her grimm arm around* had made it impossible for something like this to happen.

Yang: I mean its called the 'miracle of life' for a reason.

Cinder: Clearly.

Weiss: So why are you here exactly besides giving Jaune the um, good? News.

Cinder: That, is between him and I.

Blake: So have you thought of a name yet?

*Yang and Weiss both give the woman a rather shocked and confused glare*

Blake: What? I'm just trying to be positive here.

Cinder: *Sighing* Ashe if they're a girl, and Hawke if they're a boy.

Weiss: You've... given this a lot of thought.

Cinder: I have. That is why I am here.

Jaune enters with Ruby chasing behind him

Jaune: Cinder? What are... oh, wow.

Cinder: Yes Arc, as you can see, you gave me a rather, late holiday gift.

Jaune: *Darting to her side, sitting next to her taking her hands shocking nearly everyone there, including Cinder* Where have you been? Its been months, why didn't you come back when you found out?

Cinder: *Nearly too shocked to speak* Are you insane? You do remember who I am right?

Jaune: Oh I remember alright. I also remember, most of what happened that night too.

Blake moves ushering the other women out of the common room in an attempt to give the expecting parents some space.

Cinder: Then you know why I couldn't just come back.

Jaune: Still, then wait, why are you here now?

Cinder: Salem noticed

Jaune: Wait... you mean you didn't tell her?!

Cinder: Of course not! I work with her, but I'm not dumb. If she found out what we did, and the result, she would have found herself a new fall maiden. I'm no fool.

Jaune: If she noticed then, why come here? You know if she comes for you we can't protect you.

Cinder: I know that very well, I came here to ask you... *The woman takes a shuttering breath as though she's on the verge of tears* I came to ask you to take care of them when they're born.

Jaune: What? Why? Where will you be?

Cinder: As far away as I can go. Somewhere quiet, and hidden.

Jaune: No! You can't just expect me to believe you're willing to run away from our child! *he shakes his head as though he could hardly believe the words coming out of his mouth*

Cinder: Its the only way to make sure they stay safe! Dont you get it! Salem knows I'm with child, and if she finds out who the father is, and she will, she will use that against you and me! I refuse to let that happen!

Jaune: I'm not going to let you live like that!

Cinder: Arc! Jaune! You dense fool, you should want this, its an apt punishment for someone like me.

Jaune: Bullshit! You are not going anywhere, not now, and not when you have our baby. If you think you can just find somewhere to hide, I will find you and drag you back!

Cinder: *Flustered and confused* What is wrong with you! You hate me! This is the last thing you should ever have wanted to happen!

Jaune: I've had way too much time to hate you, and maybe that night was more than just comfort to me... and something tells me it was something more for you too.

Cinder: I dont know what you're on about

Jaune: You didn't have to come here, you could have given the child to be raised at an orpan-

Cinder: NEVER *Clams up hard realizing just what she gave away*

Jaune: Oh... I see, you were.

Cinder: Yes, and you see why I had to come here.

Jaune: But why now? You could have dropped the child off after, instead of coming here.

Cinder: *Refuses to answer, fidgeting with the claws on her grimm hand*

Jaune: *Starting to smile* Cinder... ah fuck it *get down on one knee in front of her*

Cinder: *Blushing like mad, shaking her head* W-what are you doing! Y-You can't!

Jaune: Oh I very much can, this is my child too and I intend to take responsibility for that night.

Cinder: *Just starting to tear up* You idiot, you can't expect me to just say yes.

Jaune: Cinder Fall? Will you marry me?

Cinder: *starting to actually cry shaking her head no* Fuck you! You are such an idiot! Yes! Fuck you Jaune! Yes! I'll marry you!

Jaune: *Laughing and starting to cry a bit himself stands and hugs the woman warmly before kissing her.* You're so bad at this

Cinder: Shut up!

Blake: *A single ear pointed towards the common room, she was trying to hold her tears back, hiccuping with little sniffles* God they are both so fucking bad at this...

Weiss: I can't believe this, Cinder is pregnant with Jaune's kid. What are we supposed to do with her now?

Yang: Well I mean we are going to have to find a way to keep Nora from throwing hands with a pregnant woman first off.

Ruby: Well at least she wont be trying to kill any of us

Weiss: You've never met a pregnant woman have you?

Ruby: What does that mean?

*In Vacuo common room, one winter night*

Jaune: Sigh... I can't sleep.

*loud noise in the chimney*

Jaune: What the...

*bunch of packets drop into the room*

Jaune: You gotta be kidding me...

*person drops into the room*

Jaune: Are you... Santa?

Cinder: *coughing* you wish... idiot.

Jaune: Cinder! *reaches for a sword, realizes he is in pajamas* What are you trying to do?

Cinder: *coughing* Plan? Fat bearded maniac threw me in the chimney and you think this is some kind of plan?

Jaune: Santa threw you in the chimney? You can't be serious.

Cinder: I wouldn't joke about something like that. See. *shows letter attached to her nightie* It says here, for June.

Jaune: It's Jaune. *snatches letter away from her* Why would Santa send me you?

Cinder: I suppose he knows you want to defeat me and thought bringing me here in a nightie was your best bet. But don't delude yourself, I don't need a blade to beat you Arc.

Jaune: *reads the letter* Dear Jaune, you are without a doubt one of the worst people on this Gods forsaken planet. Every breath you take is stolen from someone more worthy. Your life serves zero purpose, you should have stayed back there. I would have brought you the world's biggest piece of coal but you don't even deserve that. Here is bag of Cinder for you, he he. Hate from... Santa.

Cinder: I stand corrected. Old man has wicked sense of humor.

Jaune: What is this?! *continues reading* None of this makes any sense. He is accusing me of murder in cold blood, theft, ship sinking... whatever that is.

Cinder: Fufufu. But it's true. Didn't you steal an Atlesian airship to reach it?

Jaune: I did, but it was group effort *reads Ruby's letter* See! See! He is praising Ruby the entire letter! He is picking on me!

Cinder: Oh dear, how tragic. *rummages through kitchen* Anything to drink here?

Jaune: Santa is hating on me! I am number 2 on the naughty list! He thinks I am worse than pretty much anyone on this planet.

Cinder: I am number 1 by the way. *takes a sip of cocoa* Hmm, this won't do. *adds a cup of rum*

Jaune: Santa thinks I'm worse than Salem? Just great... *sits on a couch*

Cinder: Want some?

Jaune: At this point that's just rum with cocoa flavor.

Cinder: Santa exists, he hates you and brought me to you as a punishment.

Jaune: Give me that. *takes a swig* How do you deal with all that hate?

Cinder: I just continue going forward, that's the only thing you can do. Spite them with your continuous existence.

Jaune: That sounds tiring.

Cinder: Hating is more tiring than just existing.

Jaune: I suppose that's true... Cheers.

Cinder: Cheers.

[aviradasa]

The lost boys main HCs

Paul

Here are some paul hcs! I hope you enjoy! This is kinda short but i had fun writing it!

If you would like a part two going into more detail about him let me know. I'm gonna be responding to Dwayne's HCS, though. I hate the ones I posted. I'm also gonna be doing an HC/ one-shot series about each of the boys before they found each other/ became vampires, so stay tuned!!

Paul is a younger sibling. When he was alive he had 2 brothers and one twin sister.

He was 19 but going to turn 20 literally like a month before he died and despite how he acts he was the oldest when turned,

If you ask him his age though he will say 20 to fuck with you before pulling the “Nah I'm just joking” card and telling you he was only 19

He does that mostly cause he's a little upset he wasn't able to hold out at least another month, so he likes to say what he could have been, but he doesn't wanna lie about his age.

He hates liars.

He also keeps track of every birthday he and the other boys have had since they turned cause he doesn't want to lose track of the years. It kinda keeps him sane a bit.

On a less depressing note

He is also one of the sassiest assholes you will ever meet. He does not think before he speaks and honestly, he doesn't give a damn

I mean y'all hear him when he said the whole “ chill out girl 🙄😒” line you can't tell me he wasn't annoyed that star was ruining the fun

He also does not give a shit if he hurts someone's feeling with it especially if its someone he doesn't know or does not fuck with, he sees no point in trying to spare the feelings of anyone he doesn't care about

He can also be a bit flirty just in general as a joke or genuinely he is just like that and he dont care what gender it is he will make flirty jokes or comments regardless.🤣

He is an asshole, but he is quite loyal to the people he loves, surprisingly. But he loves them in his own way. Despite all the teasing, rude comments, cruel pranks, and injuries he may accidentally inflict, he doesn't fuck around with other people pulling that shit.

The definition of “nobody can bully my family or friends but me.”

He can be nice sometimes. It depends on whether he's fully sober or not, and then it depends on what he did.

Drunk = steer clear he's gonna say or do some stupid shit that could result in either a fight with somebody random or not,or you all dying.

Stoned = yeah, you have a better chance of seeing him nice with this one. But still, be careful cause high also results in hunger, so don't get bit. he does bite. Remember that.

He also relaxes better after smoking, so he might just sit his ass down for a while, maybe watch a movie.

He's not a TV guy though usually. he finds it hard to focus on shows and movies so he either likes to smoke before watching or else he has to pause it every 20 minutes to get up, walk around, and bitch about loopholes and plot points for a few minutes before he can sit back down and continue it.

He just kinda avoids them for those reasons. He's more of a music guy. Because then he can get up, bounce around, have fun, and not miss anything in the song cause he can do other shit while listening.

The music he likes is rock and heavy metal; I will admit, though, that he is the kinda person to pull the “Oh, you know (random band), then name 3 songs.”

“ (names 3 song)”.

“Oh shit cool, what's your favorite.”

He does that shit often, actually, but his saving grace is that if you know what your talking about, you now have a new friend to discuss your favorite bands with. 😭

He keeps his area of the cave a mess but he still knows where everything is. But it's not like a dirty mess; it's mostly just clutter.

He refuses to leave food containers or remains in his room overnight like he can not stand that shit if he's chilling out drawing or something, and he catches the lightest whiff of food smell from a container he finished off not even an hour ago he getting up and throwing it away.

Honestly, that goes for all the boys, to be fair. They don't care about being dirty themselves, but they don't want their spaces dirty if you get what I mean.

Also, he does not like people touching his stuff. Only a select few people can, and that is Laddie and the other boys maybe star once in awhile, and depending on whether you are a close friend or partner, you can, but everybody has to ask unless he says to grab it for him.

He just doesn't want his shit moved cause he's worried he won't be able to find it.

He's not worried about shit being broken cause he will just fix it. Unless it's CDs or records that he can't fix, he will be severely pissed.

But one specific thing you don't under any circumstance touch, grab or even breathe too close to is his sister's old music box. If that gets broken, he will kill you, no questions asked, and he won't feel bad about it, NOBODY would want to/ have the ability to stop him at that moment, so just please don't touch it.

Other than that, he doesn't care. He likes having people come to his space to hang out and keep him company. He also likes showing off all the cool shit he has.

Oh, and the him killing you thing reminds me.

He is scary as fuck when he kills/feeds cause his style is extremely animalistic. He doesn't just tear flesh away or rip a limb or two. He fucking MAULS his kills to the point that if you see the aftermath, you genuinely wonder if it was ever a human or not.

His kills are quick, violent, messy, and sadistic. Cause he genuinely does enjoy the kill, probably more than feeding.

He's an adrenaline junkie, a daredevil, and anything in between, so when it is time, he will find a target, and to be fair, he likes a good chase. So he will probably grab somebody, and when they fight back, he will purposely let them go and give them a head start so he can chase them down just to make the mauling more fun.

When he's done feeding, he is most of the time covered in blood, dirt, leaves, sand, sticks, you name it, and it's probably on him.

He cleans up as best he can before going back onto the boardwalk or heading into town of course. But if they have a late feeding and they have to get back to the cave in a hurry before sunrise. He will stay like that until the next day.

But by the time he wakes up, he hates the feeling of the stuff stuck to him, so he cleans up quickly just so he doesn't have to be uncomfortable lmao.

Anyway, that's it for now. He's just a funny, sarcastic, sadistic, flirty asshole. But we love him. Cause he's Paul.

[numberonetacostan]

Sorry I haven't really been around I am feeling horrible rn and need tacomic to cope.

Anyways

I think about tacomic shenanigans and something tells me mic is SO out of it when she's drunk, or at the very least drowsy. I know she came in one time and taco was there and girl was so happy she practically just covered taco's entire face with her lipstick just like that one cat meme, then she proceeds to pass out and taco is ready to follow suit but pickle is just shaking her like "TACO STAY WITH US TACO" and she doesn't by the end. I think it would be extra funnier if mic's lipstick is of those that aren't as easy to wipe off, so taco is out there dying as pickle tries his best (and fails) to fully clean off the lipstick. He is also trying his best to not laugh but the situation is so dumb he ends up laughing as taco covers her face in embarrassment.

Mic wakes up knife tells her what the fuck happened and she she is so embarrassed she apologies to taco like one million times or so. Since we established they sleep in the same bed before they start dating, even though it may save them both some awkward time because they are clingy as fuck they still sleep together but they are practically facing away from each other like a divorced couple. Except they aren't a divorce couple they're just dumb

Hi Kiara!!!!!!^^ Welcome back, and thank you for sending in an ask!!!!!! :] I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling well <3 so I've added a little doodle for you at the end!!!!

Out-of-it drunk Mic is so funny to me. She was yearning for Taco for quite some time, and now that she's been... emotionally compromised by alcohol she can't contain how happy she is seeing Taco every day trying to get better and getting closer to her. So many kisses every kiss for Taco!!!!! And Taco is so ready to follow suit in passing out. She just got so much love she's probably overheating!!!! I'm not sure if Pickle in particular would be the one trying to keep Taco awake, but I'm sure someone would be trying to keep her up!!! Soap, maybe? Mic's lipstick being hard to get off is so funny too, Taco is covered in it for days despite her, Mic, and even Soap's best efforts. Not even the best cleaning supplies can get it off.

Mic would be so embarrassed, especially if this was done in front of a bunch of people. Either way, everyone would find out since Taco is walking around with lipstick all over her. They sleep facing away from each other despite the fact that another bed is right there and Taco's nest is right there, but they still want that closeness despite their embarrassment!!!! <333

[larluce]

Rules: you will be given a word. Then you share one sentence/excerpt from your wip(s) that starts with each letter of your word!

I was given the word TIME by @tansyuduri . Thank you SO much for the tag! ❤️

The first one is a fragment of the next chapter of my fic From the Grave to the Craddle

The second one, a fragment of the next chapter of my fic Protecting the Dragonlord's Son

The third one, a very future scene that will happen on my Merlin as Arthur's familiar/Arthur's shapeshifter falcon AU

And the fourth one, a scene from Arthur and Merlin travel back in time without knowing the other is from the future too AU that will appear once is fic (Yes I'm working on that too) , which I'm co-writing with @evadne01 and @rubinaitoart by the way!

- T -

The wooden dummy falls to the ground, the sound of the impact muffled by the grass. Arthur gasps, sweat running down his forehead and nose. He's exhausted, he had to defeat ten 'bandits' today, but the adrenaline is still strong in his veins, so he doesn't abandon his defensive stance. He's sure this is the last one, but there was always the possibility that he had miscounted or that his master had added more hidden dummies to take him by surprise.

“Boo!” a voice shouts behind him and Arthur turns quickly, almost dropping the handle of his sword, startled. Those electrifying blue eyes he knows so well look at him mischievously accompanied by a big smile worthy of someone very pleased with himself.

“By the gods, Merlin!” exclaims Arthur. “One of these days I'm going to stab you by accident if you keep doing that.”

“With a wooden sword?” Merlin looks at him with a raised eyebrow. Arthur looks at his sword.

“It's more dangerous than it looks,” the blond defends his trusty weapon, stubborn and proud as only a fourteen-year-old can be.

Besides, I'll soon have a real one, Arthur thinks with excitement, Emrys promised me.

“Your reflexes have improved, Arthur, good job,” as if he had summoned him with his thoughts, his mentor emerges from the shadows. He has a slight smile on his face, just a hint of a smile, and yet it is the widest smile he has seen in years. “Merlin, what did I tell you about butting in on your partner's training?” the old man scolds his other pupil.

“Oh, but he was done!” Merlin retorts, but when he sees that his master does not take his disapproving look away, he sighs. “I'm sorry, I won't do it again.” Emrys just shakes his head.

“Help Arthur out of his armor and we’ll start your training,” the old man turns around and, with a movement of his hand, makes the wooden and straw dolls scattered on the floor stand up, as if they had a life of their own, and follow him in a row behind him, marching.

“You see that?!” exclaims the twelve-year-old warlock, between impressed and irritated, pointing in the direction his mentor went with the fake bandits. “He didn’t even use a spell or anything. He just…” he imitates the movement with his hand in an exaggerated manner. “That!”

“You can also move things without casting any spells, Merlin,” says Arthur as if it were no big deal, while trying to undo the straps of the armguard. “Ow!” he complains when his friend removes the shoulder pad with his arm in the wrong position.

“Don't move,” Merlin warns. “Moving objects is one thing, Arthur, animating them is another. Even with spells it’s hard to achieve-Stop moving!”

- I -

“I’m fine now. Really.”

Arthur stares at his servant’s face for a few seconds to make sure he’s not lying. Merlin knows this, so he holds his gaze, even though he feels self-conscious at the intensity in the prince’s eyes. He understands that after so many lies Arthur doesn’t believe him right away and that they have to rebuild the trust between them.

Merlin understands that, but… Is it necessary that Arthur looks at him straight in the eyes like that?

“Very well,” the prince finally agrees. “Since we have that settled. We need to talk about the dragon.”

“Oh…” Merlin gets nervous again. “Can’t we start with something else?”

The young warlock doesn’t feel comfortable talking about the dragon right now. Not when the worst mistakes he’s made are related to it.

“No, Merlin,” Arthur says in a tone that almost sounds apologetic. “We have to start with this. My father is going to question you about the dragon.”

“What?!” Merlin screams in panic. What does he mean Uther is going to interrogate him again? He barely survived the first interrogation!

Noticing his distress, Arthur quickly grabs his arm with one hand. Merlin is puzzled for a moment. Does he think he's going to run away?

“It's just a routine investigation,” the prince reassures him, and the hand on his arm begins to gently caress him with his thumb. “You were the last to interact with the dragon and the dragonlord, so he wants to know if you have any information that could help stop them.”

Merlin looks away and blushes helplessly. It's absurd, it's not like it was the first time Arthur grabbed his arm or held him this close, but it was always rough and in a camaraderie-like manner. This… this feels more intimate somehow. It's…

As his anxious hands begin to play with the sheet he remembers that he's sitting on Arthur's bed. Right, Arthur has sat him on his bed! Since when does he do that?

“Merlin?” the prince snaps his fingers, bringing his servant out of his thoughts.

- M -

Much to his dismay, Carleon realises how doomed his nephew actually is.

It was no secret that the King of Camelot was a falcon lover, especially merlins. They were the national bird par excellence and their hunting was forbidden throughout Camelot kingdom. He's been informed its King has 6 pet merlins, 1 that turned out to be a magical creature and 5 common merlins that he has entrusted to his most trusted knights and they are better trained than any domesticated bird ever seen in all Albion. Everyone knows that Arthur Pendragon loves those merlins with his life.

And his nephew, his nephew had...

Arthur: (barely contained rage) He shot him with an arrow that went through his wing and chest. (His voice breaks a bit) He was just two years old.

Carleon: I'm sure my nephew didn't mean to... I mean, I don't think he knew it was one of your merlins. He's still not aware of all the new customs of your kingdom. Where we come from, bird hunting is very common-

Arthur: In other words, he didn't even want to kill my merlin in an act of defense or attack, but just for the fun of it.

Carleon: You have to understand. He's young, immature.

Arthur: We're the same age. Are you implying that I'm not mature enough to be king?

Carleon: ...

Arthur: Of course you are. That's why you keep sending raiders to my borders. That's why you haven't wanted to sign a peace treaty or negotiate with me in my nearly two years of reign. You think me incompetent, an easy target, and what word did you use? Immature.

Carleon: Well, you risking your kingdom to go to war with another just because your bird pet was shot doesn't exactly help my image of you.

Arthur: (pauses dangerously, and says in a low voice) "just because your bird pet was shot." (Repeats, raising his voice, furious) Just because your bird pet was shot!

Carleon: We have several falcons in Gwynedd too, I'm sure we can come to an agreement-

Arthur: Blizzard.

Carleon: ... Pardon?

Arthur: My merlin, the one your nephew injured, is called Blizzard. I took care of him since he was an egg, I saw him hatch, I fed him myself, I saw him grow, molt his feathers, he was the first of my merlins to learn to fly. My merlins were one of the few joys and comforts I had after my father passed away and my home was almost burned to the ground, King Carleon. My merlins are not my pets, they are my children and you are offering to replace him?

Carleon: (shocked) No... I mean...

Arthur: Well, I'll give you the same solution. You replace your nephew.

Carleon: (furious and offended) You little brat-

Arthur: Be careful with your words, I think you forget that I still have your prince's life in my hands.

Carleon: (sighs to calm down) If you kill him there will be war. Be reasonable.

Arthur: I tried to be reasonable with you several times in the past and you rejected each opportunity. Don't call me unreasonable now. Your prince committed a crime in my kingdom. If it had been anyone else, the sentence would have been the same. I'm just enforcing the law, it's not my fault that the prince wasn't aware of the laws of the lands he was trying to steal from me. Besides, weren't you looking for the perfect excuse to go to war with me? Well, here it is. Aren't you happy?

Carleon: (threatening) If you execute him, I'll have no mercy when these lands are mine.

Arthur: I admire your optimism, as if Camelot's army wasn't as strong and large as yours. But guess what? Even if you left a river of blood in your wake, nothing, absolutely nothing, will bring you back your beloved nephew.

Carleon: ....

Arthur: (laughs humorlessly, his eyes glazed over) It hurts, doesn't it? You won't see your nephew again and I won't see my Blizzard again. Nothing will bring him back to me.

Carleon: (sighs) Alright, I underestimated you and I was greedy and for that I ask for your forgiveness. I'm willing to negotiate now.

Arthur: I don't want to negotiate. I want justice.

- E -

Everyone eyes are on the sapling now. Horrible realization in their eyes. Gwen gasps and covers her mouth, her eyes watering. Leon pales so much it's almost funny. Percival, who seems dead inside, hardly responsive, opens his eyes wide as the only reaction to the news. Gaius… Gaius already suspected, of course, but it doesn't make him look less devasted.

Gwen: Why? Why would they…?

Arthur: They wanted to punish him. Something about him doing more wrongs than rights with his power, I don't know. (Thinks) And honestly I don't care. Who are they to decide? What right do they have?

Gaius: Rather Merlin wronged them. They’ve meddled in Camelot’s affairs twice before. Lady Sofia and Lord Aulfric. Princess Elena. Merlin stopped them every time.

Arthur: (Thinking) Nobody thought to tell me any of this until now? (Bitterly) So it was personal?

Gaius: I… wouldn't be able to tell.

Arthur: (about to lash out) You knew that and you thought going for them for help was the best idea?!

Gaius: I…

Gwen: (scolds) Arthur! (rests her hand against his arm, and both Leon and Percival bow their heads a little.) I know you're hurt. We are all hurting. But don’t You dare blame Gaius for this. Don't You dare!

Arthur: (composes himself) You’re right. My apologies, Gaius. You are not at fault, lets focus in what we can do to get him back to normal.

....

That would be all.

The word I choose is LATE.

I tag: @evadne01 , @rubinaitoart , @theroundbartable , @ramblings-of-a-chaotic-neutral .

[hjellacott]

No, @indiegloom, I think you need to take another look at my actual words and not say I've said things I haven't, specially given that, as you've explained, you are "slow in processing and unable to understand others", because you're clearly interpreting things I've never said. Several times along my post I talk about the bullshit (I literally, quote myself, said BS) other people receive for their disabilities and impairments. I NEVER, at no point, said or implied that physically disabled people don't have to suffer people calling them names or telling them they shouldn't use mobility aids. In fact, my post was about being physically disabled AND being told I'm lazy and other things. I have an idea of what it is like to be physically and mentally disabled and being called because I talk about it through the whole post. About having taught autistic children, for example, and seeing how judgemental people can be and how little they understand the enormous help some disabled people still need, or about the bullshit people get, and the judgement they get, and how some people, for example people with Down's Syndrome (which affects both their bodies and their minds) might feel so judged and bullshitted eventually they want to take ownership and feel pride over their identity. Like, that's literally all over my post.

You act as if I don't know how much ableism disabled people get, as if I haven't just written a whole post talking about how mistreated people with disabilities are. As if I haven't written several paragraphs enumerating a handful of the challenges disabled people have, and how it's even trickier when the disabilities are invisible (such as some physical disabilities and many mental disabilities), because people can't even imagine you might be disable, and judge you even more. So clearly, I've no problem understanding that and I'm not an ableist.

I have no biases, but you do seem to. I haven't lumped anyone together. I've never said "all _ people do/think/say _". The whole time I've used words such as "some" or "most", or described TENDENCIES in a more general way. The only really firm affirmation I've given is "Some disabilities or impairments are obvious. A person in a wheelchair, a person with a guide dog... And even though the world isn't made for them either, and they have tremendous challenges daily, at least a part of their problems and solutions are obvious. It doesn't take much thinking to know a person in a wheelchair will need a lift, nobody is going to try and push them up a flight of stairs and call them lazy fuckers if they ask for the lift.". Even then, I clarify I mean "some disabilities and impairments", and basically say nobody's going to push a person on a wheelchair up a whole flight of stairs and call them lazy fuckers if they ask for the lift. Perhaps I should've clarified I meant nobody -in their right mind- would do that, but it seemed obvious.

Before you try to give me lessons, maybe take a hard look in the mirror and observe how you've put words in my mouth that I haven't said, acted as if my post was about talking about how people with disabilities don't get as much shit as I do, when in actual fact it was about visible vs invisible disabilities and raising awareness, and written for non-disabled people to take awareness, and on top of that, you've wrongfully judged me, called me ableist, and lumped me with ableist people. You've enormously misunderstood the post and nothing of what you've said has, in fact, anything to do with my posts or my words. Think about that. I'm not taking lessons from somebody like you.

Disabled rant

So I've got an invisible disability, as they call it. I've scoliosis, and in my case, it means a whole shoulder blade is out of its proper place and there isn't a good solution but pain management and certain types of physical therapies, such as Feldenkrais, which can be really helpful, but are not covered by the NHS. Which means that for the most part, is something I wish I could cure and fix (contrary to other people who don't wish to change their disabilities or impairments, and say they "don't want to be fixed), but that I've come to accept I probably won't get to fully solve. I know I have to live with this and manage it for life. And the world isn't made for people like me.

Some disabilities or impairments are obvious. A person in a wheelchair, a person with a guide dog... And even though the world isn't made for them either, and they have tremendous challenges daily, at least a part of their problems and solutions are obvious. It doesn't take much thinking to know a person in a wheelchair will need a lift, nobody is going to try and push them up a flight of stairs and call them lazy fuckers if they ask for the lift.

My situation is different. You can't look at me and see my disability. Therefore, I am not treated with the prejudices and stigma other disabled people receive, I don't get pointed at or anything, but in the down side, people don't understand it when I need help and compassion and understanding. That it isn't that I'm lazy, it isn't that I'm being difficult... Is that I genuinely need to sit down more, have a chair nearby, be offered a seat in public transport, because I'm in chronic pain and sometimes I feel great, but sometimes I'm agonising, and I might even faint. I'm agonising and having to smile and offer my seat to a pregnant woman or an elderly person... and I will happily do it, but I could also use a healthy person offering me their seat now and then. But they won't. Because they look at me and only see a young lady who seems fine.

With Feldenkrais now for a decade, I'm now no longer normally in pain, but I've got to be really careful not to make things bad and end-up bed-ridden for weeks. Among other cautions and prevention things, mainly I need to take frequent rests, and even sitting down, sometimes I need to change position, or type of seat, or lie down. My spine, which is S shaped, basically can't hold me up for long. Can't do its job effectivelly. And even though scoliosis is a private matter, I've had to warn my every employer. And I've lost jobs for it.

Most cases, bosses and colleagues don't get it. They think I'm lazy, needing to sit down all the time, because my clothes cover the bad positioning of my shoulder blade. They think I'm exaggerating. They call me names. And I've taken it without complaint for ten plus years, first from classmates and teachers, then in work settings. Lost jobs, or have to quit them for medical reasons, and so on. My doctors aren't even sure I would be able to carry a successful pregnancy to term, but my fucker boss thinks I'm being a lazy, annoying tosser who needs to be sitting down too often.

Anyway.

In psychology, we have two aspects for disability. The medical aspect is the one that tries to "fix you", and focuses on what's wrong with you as a disabled person and what can be do with you or two you to help out. It points out your symptoms. I always feel slightly at war with some disabled people because they try to speak for all of us and say that the medical aspect is shit, that people shouldn't be trying to fix them, that there's nothing wrong with them, that it should only be the social aspect. The one that focuses on finding the problem in society (it is society that disables you, which is why we don't say people with disabilities, but disabled people as in, people who have been made disabled by the world), and adapt society to enable your existence, to put it simply. Personally, I think it needs to be a combination.

I think it is very much CRUCIAL to remember each disabled person is their own fucking individual. We can't really be grouped into one category and say OK, disabled people reject the medical focus, so let's stop pointing out their symtoms and just fix society. I think at the bare minimum, we should recognise main differences between people whose disabilities are invisible and people who have visible ones.

Many of us who are invisibly disabled, we have a physical impairment that, contrary to for example people with Down's Syndrome, we do really want to fix it. We want our medical issues to be researched more and investigated better and for treatments to become more accessible because they aren't. Currently the only treatment available in the NHS for scoliosis is physiotherapy (for pain management, and not necessarily effective) and surgery (involves having nails in your spine, a huge, risky surgery, and it won't necessary solve things completely). I tell people I've scoliosis, most people don't know what it is. So people like me, we do need the medical aspect, it's crucial. It's crucial to raise awareness, to let people know there are so many invisible disabilities, so many people smiling at you and agonising inside, and so, in the one hand, we need a big focus on the medical aspect and trying to fix treatments to fix us, but on the other hand, we also need a focus on the social aspect and building a more understanding and empathetic society that doesn't hurry to call people lazy fuckers if they need to rest more, that is not so quick to judge, that always thinks "hold on, perhaps they're disabled and I can't see it, let's be extra kind". Particularly in work places.

Whereas for visibly disabled people, there are so many kinds. If you've got autism or Down's Syndrome, you might not want to be treated like a sick person, because it's become your identity. For me, scoliosis isn't my fucking identity, I don't want it to be, but I imagine that when you're receiving BS day and night and being called retarded for having something like Down's, eventually you want to flip the table and own it and let it be your identity and something you're proud of it, and you don't want to be told you're ill, that something's wrong with you, you want society to just take you in and love you as you are. But then you've got deaf people or people with hearing impairment but not complete deafness, who perhaps would really benefit from being treated like people with a medical problem that needs solving, so that research can focus and money can be invested in finding new treatments to truly solve deafness. Just like we use glasses when our eyes are impaired (I also got that one).

This goes to show that what we need is a combination of both aspects. Yes we can't go around calling people names and pointing fingers at them and calling them ugly and being shit to them because they're impaired, we can't make people disabled by building a world that will always make them feel broken and not good enough.

We need compassion, understanding, kindness. We need society to change. But we also need for people to understand many disabilities are invisible. Many have degrees. For example autism is a whole fucking spectrum, and I've friends who have the kind where you're incredibly bright, bit like Sheldon Cooper, they'd never call themselves disabled, they don't want to be fixed or to be told something's wrong with them, they think they're better than you. But I've been a teacher at a school for students so deeply autistic that they didn't say a word ever, literally they'd be ill and vomiting and feverish and you had to play guess because trying to talk to them was like talking to a wall, even when using Makaton (some kids will really get good with it, but others cannot use it much either). And those kids do need people to realise something about them is different, that they need medical help and twice as much understanding and kindness, and for their symptoms to be understood. Because if their symptoms are not seen and understood as such, then they'll be judged wrong. Then people will slap them for the way they behave (and imagine slapping an autistic child!), whereas if people know it's deep autistic, a state of severe dependency, and that they didn't mean anything bad when they bit you, when they hit you, or when they start screaming, then they'll be kind and compassionate. And by remembering the medical focus, there'll be more medical research to make their lives better.

The main thing is every disabled person is their own person. Their own world. So when in doubt, don't assume someone's lazy or stupid, assume they must have some disability and don't ask about it. Just be kind, it's not hard. Be understanding. When some disabled people tell you they just want to be treated as normal and not be fixed, don't assume that's everyone. But remember and don't judge that some people really do need to be cured, and are begging for it. Don't generalise and put every disabled person in one same box and assume their needs and wishes are the same. Just ask them how they feel about it personally, if you're close to them to ask.

Think about it like with glasses, right? Sight impairment in an accepted disability common in society and we run to fix it. We all want to fix it. We'll have glasses or surgery. So by that logic, assume many disabled people want cures and want fixing if it's possible, but that doesn't mean they want to be treated like they're wrong or broken or less good, because they aren't. They simply have an issue, and we all have issues and problems and crap. They're impaired. Most of us have at least one little impairment, it's a normal thing, not abnormal. And then, also remember other disabled people don't want to hear a word about their symptoms.

And when your employee tells you they've got a health condition and need a specific thing, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST LISTEN, BE KIND, GIVE THEM WHATEVER THEY NEED TO DO THEIR JOB THE BEST THEY CAN AND DON'T DEMAND FUCKING JUSTIFICATIONS AND PRIVATE EXPLANATIONS.

[xcziel]

literally the only thing really stopping me from planning a flight is that if i go, i'll want to be there a while and i can't fit enough into only one suitcase

from experience, traveling with two suitcases is a pain, but also i need more space than one suitcase it is a dilemma